Snowflakes and Labor

Kind of like snowflakes, no two labors are exactly alike. And despite months and hours of preparation, there will be surprises. Now, I am certain that this is the ONLY guarantee!

Here are a few of my unlikely surprises.

Things I didn’t think would happen or could never have known I would do during labor:

1.) Call out for the comfort of our cat, “Lobo” during contractions. Needless to say, he did not come to the bedside.
2.) Keep only my knee socks on and continue to wear them well into the following day. They belong in a trophy case.
3.) Refuse to move from the lower left corner of the bed while in the final 30 minutes of pushing. (Note to self: not at all an ideal position for your support team.)
4.) After months of preparing for an unmedicated, vaginal childbirth, request/demand a cesarean in the fourth hour of pushing. But, to no avail as my team knew my wishes better than I at that moment.
5.) Order my sweet mother (who had traveled across the country to be at my bedside) out of the room with a swift scolding, “This is not a party. I’m in the middle of giving birth!”
6.) That I would sway in the arms of my doula and allow her to hold me like a newborn myself.
7.) That I would need the perfect words of my husband so very desperately at the end, “This labor has gone on too long. Get mad, Honey. Let’s meet this baby.” And mad I got.
8.) Or, that I would help my sweet baby boy into this world with my own two hands! (The only thing missing was the Lion King soundtrack as I nearly held him overhead!)

There were other surprises as well.

Things I thought I would do or care about during labor, but didn’t:

The very first moments of life, “Shawn William Shirey Jr.”

1.) I definitely thought I would use the jacuzzi tub. Nope. But my husband did.
2.) I envisioned lots of cursing. Nope. Apparently I was quite polite, lots of “please”, “thank you” and “oh, I’m so sorry.” My husband, however, exclaimed, “Holy shit!” at first sight of our son as he emerged “sunny-side up!”
3.) I imagined that I would care about who saw me wearing hospital issued disposable panties. Nope, all were welcome.
4.) And certainly care about who saw me once those same panties were off. Nope, not for a moment. “Open house in my room…residents? Nursing students? Oh you say, there’s a group tour coming through? Send ’em in!”
5.) My husband and I both wanted to protect him from seeing “the business end” of things—it was even in the “birth plan.” Well, after 4.5 hrs of pushing, it was all business.
6.) Make-up for our first photos with baby? What about wearing that gorgeous, custom -made, flowered birthing gown with the pink satin ribbon? Nope.

Instead, I donned my favorite style to date—knee socks, hospital gown with a sweaty glow and the ultimate accessory, our newborn.

What were your surprises? Please post a comment—I would love to hear from you!