Welcome, You’ve Arrived.
Did you know that it’s not just baby that makes it’s way earth side, but you as well, as a mother and parent? During the labor process, I truly believe one travels through time and space, through an energetic portal and in an instant, arrives, not unlike the little one on your chest.
So, welcome, you have arrived.
Welcome to your new life.
After nine-ish months of preparation and anticipation, you’re here. Suddenly, on the other side of this event you’ve envisioned for so long. Your mind may swirl as it relives the events of labor while simultaneously attempting to memorize every moment with this brand new being–at once pulled back into what was and pulled into what is.
Desperately you try to still the hands of time.
I remember both so little and so much of each postpartum journey. I remember mourning the loss of each baby’s “newness” as the days and weeks passed and placing a hand on my belly feeling for kicks while nursing the baby in my arms.
Confusion is a word that comes to mind.
Elation is another. Overwhelm, exhaustion, terror, bliss, disbelief and awe are still others.
Postpartum is a time that is full of so. very. much. So many diapers, so many feeds, so many firsts, such a tremendous amount of emotion and so much mental haze.
I always make the joke that I didn’t put a shirt on for the first six months after Will was born.
This is not quite true as he required multiple walks throughout the day; I dressed for these.
Beyond the walks though, there was much time spent simply in complete awe of this little one.
This time also came with what I now know was Postpartum OCD, a form of postpartum anxiety that is characterized by intrusive thoughts. Try as I might to relax into motherhood, I was often paralyzed by fear, haunted by terrifying visions and “what-ifs,” and operating in a reality completely different than my husband’s which put great strain on our relationship. Not fun, but useful in the end. We learned a lot and we grew together.
I ultimately found my way to therapy, created Bodies for Birth, surrounded myself with a loving community and determined how to prepare for a future pregnancy.
Will and Johnny were both born on Tuesdays. My husband had to return to work on the following Monday each time. With Will, I stayed put with the exception of going for walks mostly. With Johnny, I had a five year old to care for, so life was quite different.
We were living in Edmonds at this time, but Will was still attending co-op preschool in Phinney Ridge. On Monday at 8:30 AM, I remember getting all three of us out the door to drive Will to Seattle for school. Johnny was still in the sleepy newborn phase, so it wasn’t quite as hard as I had imagined. Still, I was completely exhausted and not at all ready for that pace.
After dropping Will off at school, I parked in a shady spot to nurse Johnny and I remember thinking, “Just because I can do this, doesn’t mean I should. I need to ask for help.” Which is exactly what I did. I called my husband, we brainstormed, we came up with new plans, we asked for help. And that Monday, was the only day that I tried to be the super-mom who could do it all.
Instead, my sister helped with carpools and I napped with newborn Johnny. I watched Netflix and pumped, I folded laundry and waited for my big boy to come home from school–a much better version of myself able to greet him.
And so we learn. It’s all about trial and correction, about finding the people we can lean on and putting a support system in place. At Bodies for BirthĀ®, we begin the conversation about postpartum right away and with intention.
I want to set you up for success, I want you to have anticipatory guidance and resources in place, I want you to know how your body might feel and how you can support yourself in even the earliest days. I want you to know how to advocate for what you need so you can thrive.
So, what’s on your mind? What’s going well and what needs some work? How can I best support you? Reply to this email to schedule your Discovery Call and take the next right step toward your health and wellness.
Read on for more resources to support you during your postpartum journey!